NO GREATER LOVEhas enraptured my heart, than that of my Kinsman Redeemer
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Original: 5/1/2006 11:25 AM
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Monday, May 01, 2006

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 3 

 

Ammiel looked back at his son.  He had opted to lag behind the others as soon as they had resumed their journey. 

 

Ammiel could no longer keep the grin off his face as he watched Rondi, hands clenched by his side, walking with head down.  The father could see the lad’s anger from where he was tied to the stretcher behind his stallion.  The temptation had been too much for him, he must admit.  Looking into the cocky face of his son as he waited for a new name; a name that he had made clear that he expected his father to provide, there had been no way that Ammiel could possibly give up this chance to teach his son who had the greatest wit of the two.

 

Now though, seeing the anger that he had caused his son, there was a small nagging at the back of Ammiel’s conscience.  He had been a bit mean in his choice, though by the smile on Obadiah’s face, even he got the joke.  Of course he had no intention of using the name that he chose.  It was only a bit of fun, though as he watched his son, he could just hear his beloved Deborah’s voice.  “Ammiel, what have you done to Rondi this time?  How can you expect him to grow up to take anything you say seriously when you tease him so?” 

Aaaaaah, Debbi.  It seemed like months since he had last held her. Surely even she would enjoy this little joke.  After all, Mizell wasn’t that bad a name!

 

 

~«<>»♦«<>»~

 

 

“Mizell!  How could he!?!”  Rondi was so angry.  From the moment that he had heard the name come from his father’s lips, he had been disgusted with the choice.  “Out of all my names, he has to go and call me by the name that my older cousins use to tease me with.  He knows I hate it.  How will I be able to look these people in the eye?”

 

Rondi silently tromped on.  “What is wrong with the name Gideon (mighty warrior)?  Or Ari (lion)?  Even Aaron (shining light, high mountain, messenger) is a better name for a man.  Why did he choose to name me Tiny Gnat? Well, I suppose at least we won’t have to worry about our safety, as Obadiah’s family will be rent helpless from laughing at me!”

 

Rondi knew better than anyone how much his father loved a joke, but his face had been so serious when he had called him over after his time of deliberation with the news.  Sure, it was true that the further from any of his actual names, the less likely for his identity to be revealed; but - MIZELL!!!

 

Rondi was so engrossed in his thoughts, that he noticed neither time nor the countryside pass.  So full of emotion was he that he spared no thought for the danger that they may find themselves in.  He only felt the discomfort of being slighted by his father.  The same man, he reminded himself, who he loved and respected deeply. 

There was a slight wisdom to his father’s words.  Anyhow, why should he be so upset at the name?  It was only a name after all.

 

Just as the last thought took root in Rondi’s heart, he began to feel ashamed of his behavior.  The boy’s shoulders slumped under the weight of knowledge; knowledge of the folly of pride that he had partaken in.  His anger slowly turned to shame as he fell a little further behind the others.  “Forgive me, Adonai.  I have no excuse, but I know that one word from you and I am forgiven.  Please, my God.  I promise, with your help not to walk in pride any more.  Always remind me who I am without you, and I shall forever be grateful for who I am in you.”  Rondi could feel the guilt lift from his shoulders.  He could walk tall once more.

 

He looked up just in time to see that Obadiah had stopped the horse at the edge of a clearing.  There was a lazy stream that meandered along not far from where they stood, and bending over the stream, was the most beautiful woman that Rondi had ever seen.  She was humming as she bent to do her washing.  Her dark hair spilled over her right shoulder, her skin tanned, no doubt from similar work to that which she was so engrossed in.

 

Just then, the horse stamped his foot and snorted with impatience, bringing the company of three to the attention of the woman.  She looked up with a start, and raised herself to her feet as quickly as she could.  It was only then that Rondi noticed the round belly that had been hiding beneath the folds of her dress as she leaned over her work. 

 

 

~«<>»♦«<>»~

 

 

Obadiah saw that the young woman was about to flee.  He saw the fright in her eyes and knew that they had startled her.

“Please,” he said, holding out his hands to show that he held no weapon.  “We mean you no harm.  My master is wounded and we need help.  We have traveled far.”

The young woman’s eyes darted to and fro, looking for something that she might use as a weapon. 

Obadiah tried again, “I was wondering; is my Uncle Elias still alive?”

With this new information, the woman’s eyes flew to Obadiah.

“Elias is your uncle?” She stood, eyes narrowing as she looking him over.  “What is your name?”

Obadiah felt the heat rise in his face.  This was the moment that he had dreaded; the revealing of himself, the one who had caused such pain to his family.

“I am Obadiah, son of Amos.”

The young woman gasped as she dropped the clothes that she still had held, the shock registering on her face.  “Wait here,” she mumbled, barely loud enough to be heard, as she turned and made her way in what Obadiah remembered was the direction of the camp.

 

Minutes passed as the three waited silently.

 

It seemed like an eternity to Obadiah as he sat, waiting for someone to come.  In actual fact, it couldn’t have been more that fifteen minutes before many people, all speaking excitedly came into view.  They stopped before the stream, each one peering at the strangers on the other side. 

Four men stepped silently forward, one much older than the others.  Obadiah felt the tears prick in the back of his eyes as he recognized his beloved uncle standing before him.  He could not move as a deafening quiet fell over the crowd.

 

“Obadiah is dead.”  The old man’s voice was low and steady, his eyes searching the face of the man who claimed to be his nephew.  “We were told that he had tried to escape, so the soldiers killed him.”

 

“No Uncle, I live.  It is I, Obadiah, the son of your older brother Amos, come to beg your forgiveness for the pain that I have caused you.”  Obadiah lowered his eyes.  Shame filled him to the core of his being. 

 

It took much concentration to keep his emotions in check.  So much so that he did not hear his uncle approaching, until he spoke just a small distance from him.  “Obadiah, my son,” wavered the voice beside him.  Obadiah’s eyes shot to his uncles face, seeing the look of love in his eyes, the warmth of his hand on his arm.

“No Uncle, I am unclean.  Do not touch me!” sobbed Obadiah.  “I have wronged you and my family.   Please.”  He sank to the ground, his legs unable to hold him any longer.  “I do not deserve your forgiveness……”  Elias sank to his knees beside him, taking the large frame of his nephew in his arms as they both wept.

It wasn’t long before they were joined by the other men who had stood beside Elias.  They too knelt to wrap their arms around their cousin and wept.

 

He was home.  He was forgiven………at last he could find peace.

 

 

 

 Posted 5/1/2006 11:25 AM - 106 Views - 30 eProps - 18 comments

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18 Comments

Visit stirredfromwithin's Xanga Site!

I love it. Obadiah is quickly gaining on Rondi as my favorite character. :)  Speaking of Rondi, I like how you've portrayed his character. I love his youth and devotion and how hard he is trying to act like a man.

I'm also liking the cultural background you got going on... for me, it adds so a rich depth to the story because I can picture things in my mind... how people dressed in that culture, how they spoke, lived, etc. :)

Great job on this story. I'm excited to learn what the battle they had was over, whats going to happen in their lives etc. :)

Posted 5/2/2006 1:23 AM by stirredfromwithin - reply

Visit Dream_Mountain's Xanga Site!

Hey you!  Great job!  Sorry for the lack of comments latly.  I read all three sections to get the feel again.  You are doing a really great job!  Your cultrual feel is very good and keeps things in persepective.  I  would suggest that when Ammiel is dreaming that you put that in italics to set it apart from the rest.  I love Rondi.  He is a neat teen and very mautre for his age.  He handles things very well, but you let him get upset andcrytoo, which is good, or he'd be too  perfect.  Nice emotional reunion.  I loved the woman's initail reaction.  Falling down crying was a surprise, but an intersting one.  keep up the sweet work!  So, when do we get more?  Maybe I should hold out till you post next!

Posted 5/2/2006 10:01 AM by Dream_Mountain - reply

Visit anavrea's Xanga Site!
I like it.  Very prodical sonish.  I like the cultural response of the men with tears.  I also liked Rondi's inner dialogue, realistic and good.  :)  Keep up the good work.  :)
Posted 5/2/2006 10:25 AM by anavrea - reply

Visit BrioGirl4God's Xanga Site!

Wow!  Narelle, this is a great section.  You're doing so good, woman!  :)  I like Rondi the best, I must say.  Obadiah is cool and all that, but Rondi is awesome.  I like his internal turmoil over the name thing.  It was good, kinda brough him down a peg or two, showed us that he isn't perfect.  Excellent section.  One thing I did notice is that some of your sentences sound suspiciously alike.  For example:

He only felt the discomfort of being slighted by his father; a father, he reminded himself, who he loved deeply. 

and

The boy’s shoulders slumped under the weight of knowledge; knowledge of the folly of pride that he had partaken in. 

 

Basically, these sentences sound alot alike, structure wise, and they are pretty close together.  Maybe consider changing the format of one or the other?  :)  Other than that...you go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Love you!

Posted 5/2/2006 1:29 PM by BrioGirl4God - reply

Visit thegoatsmom's Xanga Site!
Past my bedtime, but I had to get to your story.  I'm enjoying it immensely.  Obadiah's uncle...what a picture of our forgiving God!  And Obadiah, long believed to be dead, just as we were dead in our trespasses, is now alive in the eyes of his family. 
Posted 5/3/2006 11:50 PM by thegoatsmom - reply

Visit JemimahGirl's Xanga Site!

Oh my gosh, is this another xanga of yours?

Hehe, well, maybe sometime soon, I'll post a pic of myself. But you can see me in my profile pic, can't you!

Posted 5/9/2006 7:49 AM by JemimahGirl - reply

Visit anavrea's Xanga Site!
I'll get working on another fix for you.  ;)
Posted 5/9/2006 10:26 AM by anavrea - reply

Visit Moredhel's Xanga Site!
somehow, i don't think i was supposed to read the chapters in reverse order. couldn't you put the last ones at the bottom?
Posted 5/9/2006 1:07 PM by Moredhel - reply

Visit JessSmile's Xanga Site!
Ditto Matt!
Posted 5/9/2006 3:32 PM by JessSmile - reply

Visit WmWinter's Xanga Site!

Narelle!  that's AMAZING about Todd what a miracle...I could hardly believe it when I saw both men out of the mines looking so robust...but Sophie   ..I will certainly pray...and then the reporter too...I'm teary here as I'm toddling off to bed.....love you lovely lady down under (in the sun!)  xo

ps~ this story looks GOOD!

Posted 5/10/2006 4:52 AM by WmWinter - reply

Visit AnotherSecondMommy's Xanga Site!
This really seems like a good story. Reading through it, especially the first chapter I could feel the grainy sand and the heat of the sun beating down on the travelers. Prince Ammiel and Rondi have a great father-son relationship. I hope everything goes well for them.

Michelle
Posted 5/18/2006 12:31 PM by AnotherSecondMommy - reply

Visit tears_of_winter's Xanga Site!
Thank you. Your comment is very encouraging. All the writing on my site is mine until otherwise indicated. Thanks, also, for the blessing. I could definitely use an extra dose of grace this morning! Blessings to you, also.
Posted 5/19/2006 12:09 PM by tears_of_winter - reply

Visit Keeyagirl's Xanga Site!
I shall have to read your story when I have a few moments...but wanted to tell you how I LOL at your comment on Jess' site. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face!
Blessings on your day,
micala
Posted 5/19/2006 1:35 PM by Keeyagirl - reply

Visit anavrea's Xanga Site!
It is one of those mixes that can be used to make dip or flavor a soup.  I am not exactly sure what flavorings are in it.  You could probably find a substitute if you needed to.  You can go to their website too.  www.Knorr.com  :)
Posted 5/19/2006 1:49 PM by anavrea - reply

Visit anavrea's Xanga Site!
I just looked on their website.  They say it is:

A garden medley blend of carrots, onions, tomatoes, celery root, leeks, cabbage, cauliflower, green peas and potatoes.

I hope that helps.  :)

Posted 5/19/2006 2:08 PM by anavrea - reply

Visit MinisterofDefense60's Xanga Site!
lol, no i haven't...maybe when i feel moved. She sent you pics huh? yeah, we aren't too shabby, lol
Posted 5/19/2006 3:32 PM by MinisterofDefense60 - reply

Visit notweary's Xanga Site!
Hi Narelle! I don't believe I've commented on your site before. I just came on over because of your comment on David's site. And regarding that, I totally agree! Well said! (Or written, as the case may be). And speaking of writing, once I was here, I read the last two chapters of your story and quite enjoyed them. Blessings!
Posted 5/19/2006 10:59 PM by notweary - reply

Visit jbronte's Xanga Site!
Narelle, I just wanted to give you a happy little coax to keep writing! Now that you've got me hooked on your story, I want to read chapter 4! <grinning broadly>

Thanks so much for all your encouragement in my stories, Narelle. I really do appreciate it! I'm not sure I'll be doing much with my xanga site yet, as I'm just using it to read you and Rachel so far.

I hope to see that next chapter soon, girl!
Posted 5/20/2006 1:48 PM by jbronte - reply


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